Thought of the day - Belongingness
I was talking with an "old friend" here on G+, last week about "...the need to belong to a certain community or group."
I am actually interested in the science behind that.
So what, exactly, is the need to belong?
Belongingness, refers to a human emotional need to affiliate with and be accepted by members of a group. This may include the need to belong to a peer group at school, to be accepted by co-workers, to be part of an athletic team and to be part of a church group, or to be part of a community/group here on G+. It involves more than simply being acquainted with other people. It is instead centered on gaining acceptance, attention and support from members of the group as well as providing the same attention to other members.
So, for me, I have to say that I don't have that need. Not interested to be accepted in groups or communities and frankly I like to be reckless and break the rules. Most of the people are boring and honestly I'm not interested to share ideas or brainbridges with them.
Some minds are simplistic and simply not my type of "neurolust".
But let's get back to belongingness before everyone thinks I'm full of myself ;)
In social psychology, the need to belong is an intrinsic motivation to affiliate with others and be socially accepted. This need plays a role in a number of social phenomena such as self-presentation and social comparison. This need to belong to a group can also lead to changes in behaviors, beliefs and attitudes as people strive to conform to the standards and norms of the group.
For example, people often present themselves in a particular way in order to belong to a specific social group, and I've seen this here on G+. It's a bit boneless I'd say. I see it as some boring personal form of advertising...but that's just me.
People will also spend a great deal of time comparing themselves to other members of the group in order to determine how well they fit in. This social comparison might lead an individual to adopt some of the same behaviors and attitudes of the most prominent members of the group in order to conform and gain greater acceptance.
That's also flamingo sh*t. I mean, come on!!! adopting someone else's behavior and attitude is idiotic. Use your friggin' brain and be yourself!
Why the Need to Belong Is an Important Motivator?
Oh that's simple...by belonging to a group, we feel as if we are a part of something bigger and more important than ourselves.
Here's the question:
Do you belong to a group/community here on G+? and if you do belong to a G+ group, why did you joined?
Reference:
http://scholar.harvard.edu/marianabockarova/files/need_to_belong.pdf
#personalnonsense #belongingness #humans #emotionalneed #psychology
I tend to drift about a bit and don't really immerse myself too deeply in different groups. When there are many in a community it can fracture and the loudest voices are the ones that drown others out. I feel it is the quiet ones that can have the most insight as they listen and observe and try not to get too embroiled in politics. It is easy to get looked over when you are silent, but I think if you are spending all the time talking, there is not much thinking and reflection going on.
ReplyDeleteThose who 'talk the game' often are the ones who get in positions of power and are not necessarily the best for the job. They can also favour 'delegation' and meetings as it means less actual work to do... the stuff that people use, or making/fixing things (I would say that includes surgery). Those who are primarily at a management level may technically have the responsibilities/accountability, but the ones who do the grunt work feel responsible and want to do a good job. I like to have a view of the 'whole picture' when I am given a task, but I know I just get a filtered view of what customers want or need, if not liaising with them directly, which can be frustrating.
Of course, having a family is probably the best sort of belonging to have and they don't necessarily have to be blood related, being a step parent would be a challenge, but if the love and commitment is there, it can work.
Large social groups, by their nature of scale, are incapable of providing an experience of belonging. I can't relate with any quality to groups of people because they are too many. In them, individuals are submerged and those that are not, adopt non-intimate, less honest, insincerely imitative forms of relating to one another. Often groups have some form of right-think pressure and people start 'virtue signaling' in them.
ReplyDeleteI don't often feel alone in life, but curiously I experience the feeling when I am in groups - because people are actually there and yet you want them not to be. Whether present or virtual, groups don't feel together or connected. They feel like faceless faces and inauthentic voices.
Of course this is subjective. All human perception is, but especially so when it comes to perspectives of relationships. Some clearly feel a great attachment to social grouping. The religious generally do. They seem to thrive and be reinforced by it. Which is another thing I don't like about groups and religion. ;)
Life is a ratcheting process, in a kaleidoscopic universe of unknown 'unknowns'.
ReplyDeleteBoth of my parents depended on what Adam Smith called, the 'division of labor' for the high standard of living that, they as Americans enjoyed. I have depended on this vast 'division of labor', from the day I was born; and will depend on it, until I am dead .
The 'division of labor' includes the 'distribution of death' .
I recently had a delicious hamburger, that included the meat of many autonomous, sentient cows.
These cows had brains to think and eyes to see. These cows had 'cow' hopes and 'cow' dreams.
If 'War' can be defined as a contest between two opposing self images ,my self image murdered the self image of every cow that went into the burger I consumed.
Yet I hadn't killed a single cow.
There is safety in numbers, and I belong with the crew that likes burgers..... Billions served .
I have always felt it as the expression of an instinctive or conscious knowlege that humans often need other humans to survive. Whether we pay them or trade or merely do for each other, or even steal, there are resources we cannot procure without co-operation and presence of others. This deep understanding means we must have community even if not for conversation or touch. The deeper the bond feels, the more secure we feel, knowing if something goes wrong, like if I should be put to bed for months with cancer, care will be provided. I won't linger screaming in pain until death brings mercy, but rather be brought water, broth, medicine, and comfort as best as others can do. If I fail anyway, my children will be taken in and protected and fed. This is, to my mind, why humans crave community.
ReplyDeleteTo answer the question first, I do belong to several communities on G+. I would like to see what they post. Mostly communities about things I would like to learn about like woodworking or something.
ReplyDeleteAs to the need for belonging, isn't it a ...mmm.. primal desire really? Supposedly during times of crisis, like a war or recently terrorist attacks etc, with resources diminishing, people, counter intuitively go out of their way to be more helpful. I guess we are "pack animals".
Personally though, I value solitude. I really do. That's not to say I don't appreciate other people but mostly I am content alone.
From a quick google search - http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-stress-of-disaster-brings-people-together/
Leadership is being alone, capturing the breaking idea, forging ahead on undeveloped thought , not looking behind except when realization of a missed equation needed to open the next door. I have never needed group therapy or inclusion except the team effort of sports, ie : football ...finding individual effort : boxing, canoeing , hiking in the wilds more self satisfying. I happen to agree with you muchly , smiling ... breaking rules and independence ... so be it !
ReplyDeleteI see the value of communities (be it on an offline) not just for promotion of yourself, which can come across as self-aggrandisement, putting people off, but also as a way of discovering like-minded people. It is better to expand on your interests and not stay too long in one particular area since you can end up set in your ways and develop a closed mind to new ideas and experiences. It is easy to become a bit of a hermit with the internet these days, with the ability to both work and get food and services without seeing a person (other than the postman or a tradesman).
ReplyDeleteIsolation makes you learn more about yourself and allows you to develop skills/knowledge. Human interactions are important to improve yourself lest self-doubt creep in as you become acutely aware of your own flaws and distance yourself from people who may end up liking and accepting you as you are.
Last thing I ever want to be is 'boring', which can mean I say quite strange things sometimes. Purple Beaver Anteater
I also don't have that need. Only a need to talk to some people I care about sometimes. I may have had such need before, but could not identify myself with any group, because of limitations of all narrower identities. So I came up with a group for the totality of things that exist. We are the forces, atoms, time and space, intricately interconnected.
ReplyDelete