Life Coach or The Bullshit Problem Solver - part one
A friend of mine recently booked to see a life coach for help in making some key decisions. Sadly, the session proved less than fruitful. In fact, 'it was a total waste of time and money', apparently.
There's this trend that after you reach some financial level you gotta attend some courses, that will by magic - in this case verbal diarrhea - teach you how to talk with your child, how to have better sex, how to have the perfect marriage/relationship and how to discover yourself ...oh, the last but not the least how to make the money to "come" to you etc.
Oh, really? Is about all the things that reside inside yourself but you cannot access, only a life coach knows the tricks ;) Capisci?
So, let's get to the bottom of this...I ring the number advertised. The man I speak to tells me a few things about the course...he also mentions that I sound like a 'people-person' and I'd make a good coach. It's a fairly snap judgement on his part - especially when you consider we've been talking for only two minutes.
In fact most of the people bore me...especially the ones who assume they know me and they know what's best for me. When he offers me a place on the course, I tell him I need to check some dates, but he takes this as indecisiveness....he keeps explain why I need this and why is it the right choice. Apparently only by dialing their number I am part of "the elite" - no idea what the fuck he is talking about, the elite of curious idiots...I assume.
Day 1: (btw the course made me an awesome certified communicator in 6 days) Imagine that! Also this experiment costed me some Prada shoes, ahhh...I lost a shoegasm. Fuck it!
We are a bunch of people in a hotel conference room...in the crowd a lot of men who want global fame as inspirational speakers, some sad women trapped in life long marriages who are looking to learn some tricks in order to find the courage and file for divorce...some are looking for financial tricks.
On day one we learn what a life coach is - someone who helps people help themselves. The tutors define what a coach does, or rather, doesn't do. We are not mentors, counselors or consultants. We don't direct, advise, analyse, judge or look into the past. All our questions should be open- ended and not leading or suggestive. 'How would you feel if that happened? What do you think you could do to change that?' The client should provide all the answers to their problems themselves.
As the day comes to an end...I realized that I lost precious time listening to some idiots who quoted various famous shrinks and authors. But what you expect?... this is a mass-market, multi million $ industry.
#bullshitinacan #mundusidioticus
